Atta Ikede

April 20, 2008

First Impressions

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — attaikede @ 3:48 pm

I always have a first impression about somebody. It gets revised the more I spend time with them, but I definitely have an impression and I modify my behaviour with that person based on it. I’m also extremely conservative about my impressions.

It takes me a long time to revise my impression of a person to the level that makes me want to be their friend! I find most people I meet to be a little “fishy”, at least at first, and then gradually that might change or not change as I get to know them better. Most people display very inconsistent behaviour, and it’s hard to know what exactly they’re on about.

Dont worry .. i’m not actively suspicious of these people I consider fishy … i just .. i dunno, wouldn’t rely on them for anything of consequence, or tell them anything important because I dont know enough about them to know whether they’re reliable or trustworthy or not. I dont think any of you are fishy :)

Anyway, one thing I’ve noticed about San Franciscans is that they’re very open and friendly. I find it hard to walk away from such interactions and think to myself, hmm, that person was fishy. It seems really mean spirited to do that! Who knows, they might turn out to be fishy, since so far I only know them superficially, but it’s really hard to start out thinking they’re fishy when they’ve started out being so open and friendly.

I think that after a few months of living here I’m going to be noticeably less conservative about my first impressions. Instead of automatically feeling like everybody I meet is a bit fishy, and having to adjust up or down from there, I bet i’ll start feeling like most people I meet are nice people, and only have to adjust down from there if I need to.

Do you have first impressions of people? What do you do about them?



  1. I definately have first impressions about people and tend to trust that impression. I do not trust easily either, so everyone I meet I approach with caution. It takes a lot of time and getting to know someone to change my first impression. I believe that you must see many different aspects of a person to truly understand their nature. I do make sure not to judge and give others a chance before making a final opinion.

    I tend to be very closed to others (this is probably why I have a hard time making friends…) and it usually takes years before I open up… I guess I probably don’t give a very good first impression either…

    Comment by Lisa — April 24, 2008 @ 6:02 am

  2. … i went to a workshop recently, was challenged by the instructor.

    he said, when we say hello, instead of thinking
    “who the heck do you think you are”,
    or “i bet i know who you are”,
    try “hmm… i wonder who you are”.

    ….maybe it’s not so beneficial to make up one’s mind so fast…. the sense of wonder holds the key to exploration of the world, from the other person’s point of view.

    hope the weather is good in your heart. =)


    Comment by Jessica (Wang) — April 24, 2008 @ 1:03 pm

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