Atta Ikede

November 18, 2008

Thirty years. I need answers!

Filed under: Uncategorized — attaikede @ 9:06 am

With this job here, sometimes I get behind and do a bit of work in the morning (instead of spending that time blogging :) and other times I do a few things on the weekend, and sometimes I do have extremely stressful, long days, but these are normal, expected issues with software jobs because everything is project oriented and you get tons of stress around delivery dates. Overall though, work here is a rather pleasant affair.

That being said, I still have the same underlying feeling that I don’t think I can do a 9-5 job like this for 30 years. Sure, maybe within that time, if Im successful, i’ll be able to rise beyond the cubicle and into a corner office, and maybe my salary would triple, but still. Is that enough to take the edge off? Even in a pretty good work environment like the one I have here, there’s still a lot of strategic communication. LIke hmm, this person is in marketing. Maybe I should leave out the dates in this email so he doesn’t make up a release date from it. Ok, this person is an engineer who is cranky and gets very picky about adjectives. I better be really careful about every word in my email. Ok, I’m meeting with biz dev. I better get to the point in 10 mins cuz otherwise people start getting antsy. All this angling – is this really the best way I can use my brain power? You know how the synapses you use get strengthened and the other ones die out. So all my politics playing synapses are getting strengthened and the other ones will be relatively weaker. Yuck! The thought disgusts me.

Many people my age have exactly this same problem. They freak out when they think about the 30 years issue. One of my friends here was freaking out about this yesterday. Haha. He had a bad case of the Monday blues.

But i’m amazed by how so many other people my age do NOT have this problem. Like there are lots of people who are happily doing their job, living their perfect little life. And they’re totally ok with things! If you admit your feelings about the 30 years problem to them, they’ll laugh awkwardly and back away. Yess…. They have no clue what you are talking about.

What does this mean? Are there some people who are inherently satisfied with things and don’t look around for other things? Is there some crack pipe of happiness that these people use every morning?? What’s the secret?

And is that even happiness? I’m happy. Maybe what they’re smoking is complacence.

Are there others who are chronically unsatisfied? And are there some that are addicted to change? Maybe I’m only dissatisfied with the idea of a 30 year 9-5 career because that’s the path i’m walking now, and if i was living in a tree i’d be dissatisfied with doing that for 30 years too.

And what about materialism? Having things costs money, and that means you have to earn money, or go into debt and declare bankruptcy later. Even if you stop buying things, you still need to save for retirement. But what if there was no retirement? Maybe I could just get a job raking leaves and keep doing that until I expire.

Sigh. I dont know. Time for work. And I just missed the express bus so I’ll have to go on the regular one.


1 Comment »

  1. I’m not the type to retire early. Career change is more likely though. What I’ve learned is that I value freedom, more than money, power or prestige. I imagine that people are just different and each of us are driven by different motivations. For some work is not the be all or end all. For me work is very important. If I am going to spend this much time in my life working then it damn well should be doing something inspiring. Having said that, you can’t be a workaholic all of the time, and occationally you need rest periods before going on to your next challenge.

    Comment by Julie — November 18, 2008 @ 10:29 am

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