Atta Ikede

January 13, 2009

The Porn

Filed under: Uncategorized — attaikede @ 9:45 pm

Only in San Francisco … (warning – the post below is kind of hilarious but might make you a leeetle uncomfortable!)

I caught the bus to work this morning and literally stepped over 1 suitcase and an enormous dog to get to a seat. I started puzzling over a crossword I’d printed the day before, but it was a little too hard for me so it wasn’t really engaging my attention fully. Answers to clues like “60s movie with Judy Garland” are not even remotely within my grasp *_*. What kind of people make up clues like that??

Anyway.

A few stops later, another seat in my row became free and one of the suitcase guys settled in.

There was an old man between me and the suitcase guy.

These two caught my attention when the suitcase guy asked him a question. They discussed how far it was to walk somewhere, and I half paid attention while imagining Suitcase Guy painfully rolling his suitcase up and down some hills, and what would happen if he accidentally dropped his bag half way up. Would it roll away? Would he run after it? Etc. hehe. I may have actually giggled.

Suddenly, the word “penis” jumped out at me from the reading material the old guy was holding in his hand. I did a double-take and glanced again, confirming that there was definitely some explicit stuff there. This really was the last thing I expected to see at 9 am on a weekday morning. I took a third, longer look and abruptly realized that the story involved more than one penis. It seemed to be about one thing being revealed to another guy.

Yes.

It was gay porn.

lol. On the bus.

Needless to say I was extremely surprised!  I mean, the guy was old. White hair, white stubble on his face. Why was he reading this stuff so early in the morning?! And it wasn’t even a book or magazine – it was 7 pages printed off the web. The page header said Page 4 of 7. It was folded in half and stapled in the upper left hand corner.

I put my attention back to my crossword. Anywhere but there.

But it was too late. I started noticing things.

At some point, he turned the page. He did it very slowly, as if he was savouring the story.

Later, he put his water bottle, one of those disposable ones made of crinkly soft plastic, between his legs. High up. I could hear the plastic crinkle as it got squeezed.

This gay porn thing had been pretty bizarre and funny up to this point but the plastic bottle stuff started really weirding me out. Ew! He was old!

Luckily, he got off the bus shortly after the water bottle went into position. lol. THANK GOODNESS!

Now you know.

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2 Comments »

  1. haha, I guess you didn’t even complete the puzzle and you have this gay porn thing stuck on your mind all day!!

    Comment by picnic buddy — January 14, 2009 @ 9:08 am

  2. hahaha! See what did I tell you! Porn has this magical attention grabbing ability!

    Comment by rabbitdownunder — March 16, 2009 @ 12:58 pm


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