Atta Ikede

January 25, 2009

Personality Clashes

Filed under: Uncategorized — attaikede @ 7:48 pm

You know what I’m talking about – you go out with some people, on a trip, or out for the day, and the day turns into a day of social disaster because certain people in the group don’t get along.

When I got home today and checked the Rabbit’s blog though, and saw her post about personality clashes on a recent trip she was on, the first thought I had was “geez.. that’s definitely the worst!!”. I’d take a day of struggling alone with css over social incompatibility problems any time!

I was thinking about it. Say there is a group of x friends. Personality clashes must involve at least 2 people and at most ALL people. Let’s just ignore the case of all people in the group having a massive personality clash .. hopefully people involved in such a situation would have the good sense to get away from each other after a few minutes!

Anyway, so basically we have between (x-2) and 1 person in the group left over who are not part of the personality clash, right? These people will sometimes actively try to sort out the problem, but more often than not will just retreat into a kind of hand wringing observer role.

Me being me, the times I’ve been in personality clashing social groups, I’m either part of the clash (A role which I don’t play as often as I used to!) or if I’m not involved I get away from the clashing social group as fast as possible. (This is the scenario that happens more often these days. Disengage and run away!!)

The times I’ve been one of the troublemakers in the group, I have to say that the hand wringing types in the group annoyed me more than the other troublemaker(s). All those awkward pauses, anxious glances, and passive aggressive statements that the hand wringers contributed to the fray always just increased my irritation level! I wouldn’t be surprised if my opinion in this regard was shared by other people who play or have played the troublemaker role in the group.



  1. Oh sweetie, why do you think I travel alone so much?

    The thing I am noticing is that when people travel together, many never separate, they spend the whole vacation together, day and night.

    I think that much time with anyone is bound to create conflict.

    This does make me scared for any future trips with people.

    Comment by Julie — January 26, 2009 @ 6:54 am

  2. Yeah, I think the 24/7 thing is what stresses people out and causes the personality clashes.

    Don’t lose heart though. It’s really fun to have a travelling buddy or somebody to visit when you travel. Who else will take charming photos of you in foreign places? :) Hehe. I’ll take photos of you when you visit me!

    My West coast trip this year was really one of the best! My friend I travelled with is super independent! She’s also pretty well travelled and so these two factors really set the stage for a really good trip. It was really mellow and fun, and we spent lots of time together and did a fair amount of touristy stuff, but also a little bit of time apart, like when I wanted to see a ballet and she didn’t, and some time hanging out as friends rather than being tourists. Going for coffee, stuff like that.

    I dunno about you, but I find the other thing about trips with people is I end up learning things about them I didn’t know. Sometimes that can be good, like the time Changy told me he does spa days at home so we did one at our hotel in Rome, lol, but it can also be very bad, like the time I learned that a girl I thought was level headed turned out to be kind of clueless!

    Comment by attaikede — January 26, 2009 @ 7:27 am

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