Atta Ikede

April 3, 2009

Sometimes a little distance is good

Filed under: Uncategorized — attaikede @ 6:28 am

I had a couple examples recently where me living away from Toronto ended up making me closer to friends and family.

Exactly one month ago, I was in Las Vegas enjoying the hot sun on an outdoor patio at the Palazzo resort with my 2 college housemates. Yup, those two came down from Toronto to meet me there for a 3 day weekend. Casino tourism, wave pool, grand canyon, several glasses of wine, hot tub, long conversations, star gazing, startling confessions, all you can eat Vegas buffet and gigabytes of photos mean it was an excellent trip.  There is undeniable comfort in making the same jokes over and over again and indulging in familiar behaviours, but it was also nice to feel happy to get back to a grey and rainy SF on my own despite feeling a bit emotional when I hugged them goodbye. I was actually happy to see the rain. I like it!

Out of those two, I saw one of them pretty frequently in Toronto and she’s even been here pretty frequently,  but the other one is somebody who is totally wrapped up with commitments in her life and is not somebody I saw very often. I think she only visited me at my place in Toronto a couple times and I only visited her at her place a couple times too.

This vegas trip was basically the first trip we’ve taken together, despite being very close friends. If not for the fact I live out here, and the first girl has a job that brings her out west from time to time, there’s no way the 3 of us would have gotten together, just us, at all this year!!

That was example 1 of distance being good.

The second example was when my parents came to visit early in March. It was such a great visit! Sometimes my parents and I stress each other out, but this time, we totally had a fun time.  It was really nice to come home after work to find them hanging around here, my mom usually bundled up under 3 blankets on the lounge chair (she found SF very cold!) and my dad on the couch with my laptop. Hehe. The best part was that they spent a lot of time in my neighbourhood here, so now when I talk to them, I can tell them I went to Noah’s bagels and they’ll know why the bagels are yummy, or I can tell them I’ve been taking the 41 bus home and taking the stairs up to my place, and they’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. I was actually kind of lonely when they left! Luckily I had social activities for the next 3 days and so I was totally recovered from the loneliness within a couple days.

Although of course I had lots of fun visits with my parents when I was at home, somehow, on this trip when they visited me, we treated each other like adults who were friends rather than playing the usual roles of parent and child.

That was example 2 of distance being good.


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